For More Powerful Women

How come movies aren’t made about the girl making the first move (in a heterosexual relationship) and succeeding? How come whenever we hear about love at first sight, it’s always from the man’s point of view: “From the moment I laid my eyes on her, I knew she was the one” or “Mom, I just met my future wife” (Got that one from Stephen Colbert). Why do some boys who are friend zoned eventually get the girl, but girls who are friend zoned never get the guy? Are men more patient than woman? The only time I’ve heard of girls making the first move and succeeding in real life was when I read one of Cosmo’s Snap Stories a few days ago, and I can only recall two movies where the girl gets the guy and not the other way around. One was Korean: Twenty and the other was Definitely, Maybe: the only example I can recall of a girl being friend zoned but eventually getting the guy. Are these movies rare because these things don’t happen in real life? I mean Britney Spears proposed to Kevin Federline and looked how that turned out. I wonder these things because I’m genuinely curious if there’s a rational explanation for all of this and because I refuse to let the patriarchy win (and my “Oh my god I just met my future husband” moment die). These thoughts may be biased and irrational, but I think we can all agree that women need more power roles in Hollywood or at least receive acknowledgement for all the shit they do on a day-to-day basis.

Introverts Finish Last

Taken on an ideal Friday night

Everyone’s always talking about how “Nice Guys Finish Last,” but nice guys aren’t the ones who finish last, introverted girls are. Now I’m not saying finishing last is a bad thing because some introverts are definitely okay with being alone and choose to be single. It’s just no guy wants a girl who’s idea of an ideal Friday night is to stay in and play board games. Who’d rather stay in and read a book or write Yelp reviews. They want a girl who’s exciting. Who’s spunky. Who’s peppy, bright, lively, enthusiastic, yada yada yada. They want girls who like to dance. Who are able to talk to anyone about anything. The girl next door basically. I can dance and be sociable too, but it takes time for me to be comfortable enough around people to do those things, and guys these days don’t have the patience for that when the next girl is just a swipe away. This doesn’t necessarily fall under the introvert umbrella, but apathetic, blunt, sarcastic, and emotionless girls like April from Parks & Rec would never get the guy in real life!!! (maybe I should rewrite this as "Weird Girls Finish Last: Basic Ass Bitches Always Win.")